I myself felt it a few weeks ago; I just helped a friend through the process the other day:
Being alone hurts, at least at first.
"There is safety in numbers." Being able to trust someone, to open yourself to many and be consistently surrounded by people provides you with numerous outlets. But, it is also restricting.
Asking for permission, seeking advice, coming to consensus: All of these are incredibly empowering activities within groups, and I believe that more group-centered individuals really need to work more on their consensus abilities.
The individual, however, has no need to ask permission. The men or womyn [or anyone who've reached beyond the gender binary] who travel the solo path seek no advice other than the advice of the heart. Consensus is formed the moment the decision to act is made.
As I said before, being alone hurts. Our society does not train us to be alone. We are not trained to think for ourselves, because there is no one to tell us who we are. We are not taught how to take care of ourselves because each of us have different needs. Instead we are drowned in a sea of useless information.
A few weeks ago I cut myself from all forms of media, just for one day. No internet, no phone, no books, no magazines, no radio, no television: No mass media in any form.
I accomplished more, intellectually, in that one day than I had in months. I formulated a theory of the 'world as-is' and the loner's place within that world in that one day. Over the next week I filled in the missing holes but the majority of the work came forth in a single conversation with myself. It was empowering. By eliminating outside messages I discovered my voice, and I discovered how powerful my voice can be.
When you are alone there is no one to hold you except for yourself, and for the spiritualist out there, whatever deity you believe in. The solo quest is a profoundly spiritual path, but more on that later.
There are no groups of friends waiting for you. There is nobody waiting at the end of the tunnel to welcome you into the fold of loners. There is only you, and the path; a path no one has ever traversed before you.
Walk with pride.
17.4.10
Dangers of being alone:
I'l be the first to admit; being alone is not for everyone.
There is an intense amount of skill, dedication, perseverance, ingenuity and confidence that is required to go through life alone.
You have to be able to rely on yourself for everything; That includes emotional support, spiritual guidance, philosophical inquiries, entertainment, motivation, inspiration and joy.
When faced with being alone, many break down. They cry, they yearn for attention, they reach out.
I've done the same many times.
But life is forcing me to take the loner's path. I have systematically lost everything that is or was meaningful to me. Every memory has been desecrated, tainted by recent realizations of the people in my life. The people immediately around me do not share the same interest, and in fact dwell in the very things I aim to fight in this world.
And so, here I go. I continue down my path, more alone than when I started. I don't know how this will end.
I will stand the test alone if I have to. I will be all the stronger for it. All the more self-reliant.
There is an intense amount of skill, dedication, perseverance, ingenuity and confidence that is required to go through life alone.
You have to be able to rely on yourself for everything; That includes emotional support, spiritual guidance, philosophical inquiries, entertainment, motivation, inspiration and joy.
When faced with being alone, many break down. They cry, they yearn for attention, they reach out.
I've done the same many times.
But life is forcing me to take the loner's path. I have systematically lost everything that is or was meaningful to me. Every memory has been desecrated, tainted by recent realizations of the people in my life. The people immediately around me do not share the same interest, and in fact dwell in the very things I aim to fight in this world.
And so, here I go. I continue down my path, more alone than when I started. I don't know how this will end.
I will stand the test alone if I have to. I will be all the stronger for it. All the more self-reliant.
13.4.10
Beauty
Something that often goes unnoticed by large crowds, or people talking with their closest friend: how beautiful the world is.
The way the sun reflects off the windows. How green and full the grass looks, and how soft and comforting it feels. The way the wind dances through the trees. If you close your eyes, and let the sounds of nature wash over you, you will find complete acceptance. Watching a cat, no matter what it's doing, often brings self-awareness and complete joy.
There i so much beauty to be found in the world. So much of it just waits for us to stop, smell the roses, and find inner peace.
So much o four time is devoted to cell phones, twitter, FB, reading blogs, listening to the news corp., working, buying things we really don't need, watching mindless entertainment.
Get out. Get away.
Taking a solitary walk, sit underneath a tree, and breathe.
The way the sun reflects off the windows. How green and full the grass looks, and how soft and comforting it feels. The way the wind dances through the trees. If you close your eyes, and let the sounds of nature wash over you, you will find complete acceptance. Watching a cat, no matter what it's doing, often brings self-awareness and complete joy.
There i so much beauty to be found in the world. So much of it just waits for us to stop, smell the roses, and find inner peace.
So much o four time is devoted to cell phones, twitter, FB, reading blogs, listening to the news corp., working, buying things we really don't need, watching mindless entertainment.
Get out. Get away.
Taking a solitary walk, sit underneath a tree, and breathe.
11.4.10
Getting away
Being alone is something to be feared. Being alone is dangerous. Being alone is dangerous to society, and to yourself. When you're alone, you're probably doing something wrong.
That's what we're told. That is what we see everywhere we go.
I have a different voice I listen to, she says:
Being alone is where you can find safety. Being alone is comforting. Being alone is empowering. When you're alone, you can open your eyes and truly see the world around you.
When I'm surrounded by people who know my name, and expect interaction, I am often putting aside my own beliefs and values for a time. I do not condone many things that drive conversation these days; Nor do I understand them.
I don't find violence, sexual objectification, racism or any other form of oppression to be humorous, inspiring or entertaining. In fact, I detest all of these.
Yet, there is a surplus of dead baby jokes, dumb blond jokes, race-specific jokes out there. I can't go outside without hearing a disability made fun of, a sexual orientation mocked at best, or spat upon.
In society there is a profound lack of love and acceptance. Society has compassion fatigue, otherwise known as Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder. The news has sensationalized us so much that death, racism, sexism, hetero-sexism, and all other forms of oppression are not only normal, but great bonding moments amongst the teens to twenty-somethings.
When I see the humor behind hate, the twinkle of an eye after a oppressive joke, I cringe, and my hatred for humanity grows.
When I am alone, I am filled with love. for myself, for this world and it's inhabitants.
When I am alone, I want to help the world, to save it from itself in any way I can.
When I am alone, I work towards that goal.
That's what we're told. That is what we see everywhere we go.
I have a different voice I listen to, she says:
Being alone is where you can find safety. Being alone is comforting. Being alone is empowering. When you're alone, you can open your eyes and truly see the world around you.
When I'm surrounded by people who know my name, and expect interaction, I am often putting aside my own beliefs and values for a time. I do not condone many things that drive conversation these days; Nor do I understand them.
I don't find violence, sexual objectification, racism or any other form of oppression to be humorous, inspiring or entertaining. In fact, I detest all of these.
Yet, there is a surplus of dead baby jokes, dumb blond jokes, race-specific jokes out there. I can't go outside without hearing a disability made fun of, a sexual orientation mocked at best, or spat upon.
In society there is a profound lack of love and acceptance. Society has compassion fatigue, otherwise known as Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder. The news has sensationalized us so much that death, racism, sexism, hetero-sexism, and all other forms of oppression are not only normal, but great bonding moments amongst the teens to twenty-somethings.
When I see the humor behind hate, the twinkle of an eye after a oppressive joke, I cringe, and my hatred for humanity grows.
When I am alone, I am filled with love. for myself, for this world and it's inhabitants.
When I am alone, I want to help the world, to save it from itself in any way I can.
When I am alone, I work towards that goal.
7.4.10
Erase
The tears you shed will fall,
unseen.
As belligerent boys shout obscenities
from afar.
Rocket fueled phalli fly,
through invisible borders,
into the homes of children
whose mothers
can't
afford
water.
Is this the pride of humanity?
The ultimate achievement?
Murder is science.
A technological breakthrough.
To kill - without being seen,
without seeing,
without moving,
without feeling.
Our God is an awesome god,
whose fury is unmatched,
even by our atomic erasers.
Oh, how we aspire to match his greatness.
unseen.
As belligerent boys shout obscenities
from afar.
Rocket fueled phalli fly,
through invisible borders,
into the homes of children
whose mothers
can't
afford
water.
Is this the pride of humanity?
The ultimate achievement?
Murder is science.
A technological breakthrough.
To kill - without being seen,
without seeing,
without moving,
without feeling.
Our God is an awesome god,
whose fury is unmatched,
even by our atomic erasers.
Oh, how we aspire to match his greatness.
6.4.10
A hard-earned right
A beautiful thing about being a loner:
My time is spent researching, studying, playing, composing, living, breathing, hiking, being.
My experience goes beyond my years, because my life is full of wonder and creation.
Having had all these experiences, I have found my limits, and uncovered my beliefs.
I have been desocializing myself over the years, and can proudly say the majority of my beliefs are mine, and not the regurgitation of my parents nor the corporations in power.
As such, I can speak with much more confidence and authority on issues, because I have asked myself what I believe, and discovered my truth.
When I speak, people listen. I may not be friends with everyone, I may not go with them to the bars, or talk about the tv show we watched the night before.
But I am respected.
My time is spent researching, studying, playing, composing, living, breathing, hiking, being.
My experience goes beyond my years, because my life is full of wonder and creation.
Having had all these experiences, I have found my limits, and uncovered my beliefs.
I have been desocializing myself over the years, and can proudly say the majority of my beliefs are mine, and not the regurgitation of my parents nor the corporations in power.
As such, I can speak with much more confidence and authority on issues, because I have asked myself what I believe, and discovered my truth.
When I speak, people listen. I may not be friends with everyone, I may not go with them to the bars, or talk about the tv show we watched the night before.
But I am respected.
For a purple world:
Purple reflections of a long gone age
ripple across the waters of Time.
Red had intensified, so long ago,
spreading it's liquid namesake and rage.
Sweet-tempered Blue, and the magic she did know,
was trapped in the darkness, having broken no crime.
Red, thinking himself stronger of the two,
forged new secrets and worshiped the blade.
Carving his way through the streets of history
he sought a change, to create the world anew.
Seeking one truth, he told His Story,
in place of the old, new religions were made.
But Blue, lonely Blue, shed a solitary tear
before being forgotten, lost and confused.
Ever present, but ignored, she rebuilds the broken,
defending the weak she gives courage to Fear.
Love, Peace and Goodness are all signs of her token.
Had she full power, no one would be abused.
As long as we all wear, those glasses of red:
Hate, War & Torture will be our Gravy Train.
But if you would like, to change our cup of tea
to something a little sweeter instead.
Then come, stand here, and give your hand to me;
Show the Red you're Blue, and end his bloody reign.
ripple across the waters of Time.
Red had intensified, so long ago,
spreading it's liquid namesake and rage.
Sweet-tempered Blue, and the magic she did know,
was trapped in the darkness, having broken no crime.
Red, thinking himself stronger of the two,
forged new secrets and worshiped the blade.
Carving his way through the streets of history
he sought a change, to create the world anew.
Seeking one truth, he told His Story,
in place of the old, new religions were made.
But Blue, lonely Blue, shed a solitary tear
before being forgotten, lost and confused.
Ever present, but ignored, she rebuilds the broken,
defending the weak she gives courage to Fear.
Love, Peace and Goodness are all signs of her token.
Had she full power, no one would be abused.
As long as we all wear, those glasses of red:
Hate, War & Torture will be our Gravy Train.
But if you would like, to change our cup of tea
to something a little sweeter instead.
Then come, stand here, and give your hand to me;
Show the Red you're Blue, and end his bloody reign.
Stream of conscious
A poem is a consistent string of words with power without meaning as they flow from the page into your mind filling it with thoughts of grandeur before escaping into the vast space of your memories, wherein it lies dormant until called upon, where they're full effect shines through and guides us to where we need to be. Life is a struggle, of man vs everything; man vs man, nature, self, love, joy, honesty, purity, innocence, temptation. We fight everyday against all odds in order to live the life we've dreamed to live but we are always brought up short as the things we perceive stand against us and force us unto their will, consumed by the overwhelming power of temptation we fall into a chasm of desperation, where we weep and wallow in the sludge of ourselves, disgusted by who we are, hating what we've become. Love, the theme of life consistently poking it's head into our minds forcing us to take heed. Life without love is carefree, simplistic, cheap, full of miscellaneous adventures, and very drab. We dwindle and flounder helplessly without purpose nor motivation. Whilst life with love is more bountiful in joy then heaven, full of smiles and tears, hopes and fears, the pain we feel lets us know we are human just like everyone else, and the joy that is revealed illuminates our inner self allowing our personal beauty to shine full strength. We love who we are and we love those around us. We love our lover and the things they do. The greatest struggle in life is love, and the physical happiness it brings. Pleasures of the flesh can steal the focus of the most devout priest from his duties, the motivation of a teenager boy, and the will-power of the innocent girl. When faced with the opportunity temptation strikes full force. blinding our morals and beliefs, single-handed-ly it bends us to its will. The struggles of our lives prevail against us each day, but everyday we conquer, everyday we are still alive we have won another battle. We may not win the war, but we must enter every skirmish with a smile and a laugh. Poems teach us these lessons, of life, of love, of the natural urges of the body. They teach us how to cope, how to conquer, how to co-exist with billions of people on a single rock. With the power of poetry we are guided in our lives, towards the finish line of life, the final resting place, the bed six feet under with cushions so soft you'll never awake.
5.4.10
Purpose and meaning
The purpose of life is to find your own meaning of life.
The meaning of life is different for each person, as their is no universal meaning.
It is the job of every person on this planet to go through life, exploring the possibilities and choosing the things that make the most sense to them and applying them in a way that fills their life with the emotions they want. Whether it is anger, love, joy, greed, lust, people relate to certain emotions and ways of living and that is the path they choose. Some people choose to be a banker, others an astronaut, an accountant, a teacher, or even an artist.
However, sometimes people are forced into an environment in which they do not appreciate. Someone or some event intervenes in their life and forces a path they do not wish for upon them. As an example, my uncle was forced into the world of construction, and he hates every moment of it. But it is all he knows, so he stays with it.
And it is a cruel and unjust thing when people force their path on others. One of the things people on this earth forget more than anything else, that the meaning of life is to find your path, not your friend's path, nor your children's, nor your lovers. People must be free to make their own decisions; else they will fall into a path of depression and pain.
When allowed the choice, they choose wisely. And no matter the troubles that come their way, they will overcome them because they are on the right path. As my path is the path of the individual. The one who fights against the many, so that happiness is there for all.
In life there will be hatred, confusion, loss and pain. These are universal. But without these there would be no creativity, nor love, passion or joy. It is variety that is the spice of life.
Difference makes life interesting.
I've found my purpose. I know my meaning. The course for my life has been set. The charts are prepared, the compass cleaned. My sails are unfurled and the rigging taught. The wind is on my back, and the salty sea on my tongue.
The horizon is only so far away.
The meaning of life is different for each person, as their is no universal meaning.
It is the job of every person on this planet to go through life, exploring the possibilities and choosing the things that make the most sense to them and applying them in a way that fills their life with the emotions they want. Whether it is anger, love, joy, greed, lust, people relate to certain emotions and ways of living and that is the path they choose. Some people choose to be a banker, others an astronaut, an accountant, a teacher, or even an artist.
However, sometimes people are forced into an environment in which they do not appreciate. Someone or some event intervenes in their life and forces a path they do not wish for upon them. As an example, my uncle was forced into the world of construction, and he hates every moment of it. But it is all he knows, so he stays with it.
And it is a cruel and unjust thing when people force their path on others. One of the things people on this earth forget more than anything else, that the meaning of life is to find your path, not your friend's path, nor your children's, nor your lovers. People must be free to make their own decisions; else they will fall into a path of depression and pain.
When allowed the choice, they choose wisely. And no matter the troubles that come their way, they will overcome them because they are on the right path. As my path is the path of the individual. The one who fights against the many, so that happiness is there for all.
In life there will be hatred, confusion, loss and pain. These are universal. But without these there would be no creativity, nor love, passion or joy. It is variety that is the spice of life.
Difference makes life interesting.
I've found my purpose. I know my meaning. The course for my life has been set. The charts are prepared, the compass cleaned. My sails are unfurled and the rigging taught. The wind is on my back, and the salty sea on my tongue.
The horizon is only so far away.
4.4.10
Life, death, rebirth, resurrection.
Can a living person die, yet still keep going through the motions of life?
Can a dead man reserve a table for dinner, can he hold his loved one close?
Can we be reborn without first dying? Be resurrected without first being alive?
Many deaths surround this place. Metaphorical and symbolic deaths.
Death of innocence, death of ignorance.
But is your innocence reborn?
Can your innocence return to represent the same beautiful truths? And the same foolish choices?
Can your ignorance be resurrected? And if so, what are the conditions that need to be fulfilled?
Is your ignorance born because of your inability to handle what is being shown to you?
Christian wisdom informs us to "die daily." But that is not a death of the physical body, but a death of the soul.
I am the living man who has no life within him. I am the dead man whose hand reaches, and twitches violently waiting to be grasped.
We all breathe life into our dead lungs, we all perish to the world around us hourly. Our hands reach and are closed involuntarily, empty.
Life is about being reborn, with every choice and mistake we make we seal our own deaths, and arrange for our rebirth.
With each wise decision we kill our own folly, and yet it is reborn when the pressures of wisdom and knowledge are presented to us. When we can no longer handle the truth of life and existence.
With every mistake we murder our ignorance, as we reveal what our mind had hidden behind the curtain of childhood. But upon staring with mouths open we simultaneously close both curtain and mouth.
We bring our ignorance back, wrap ourselves within the warmth of misunderstanding.
But as we do this, when our innocence is reborn and our ignorance resurrected, we remember why we first committed the bloody deed.
We see our violence and acknowledge it's need. Then our innocence steps aside, our ignorance subsides, but it is neither violent nor sudden, it is peaceful, and our understanding is complete.
We become enlightened.
Life, death, rebirth, resurrection. We experience them everyday, we hold these moments close to our heart, so close we cannot see them. We focus on the death's of others, the success of other's life's, to the point that we fail to understand our own deaths, our own life.
Today marks the death of a world, tomorrow heralds the resurrection of a galaxy.
How did you die today? Was your resurrection sweet and full of joy?
Did you spend your life preparing for your own demise? Did your rebirth go according to plan?
Never fear, there's always another chance to die tomorrow. Always a rebirth near in your future.
Always a resurrection right around the corner.
Can a dead man reserve a table for dinner, can he hold his loved one close?
Can we be reborn without first dying? Be resurrected without first being alive?
Many deaths surround this place. Metaphorical and symbolic deaths.
Death of innocence, death of ignorance.
But is your innocence reborn?
Can your innocence return to represent the same beautiful truths? And the same foolish choices?
Can your ignorance be resurrected? And if so, what are the conditions that need to be fulfilled?
Is your ignorance born because of your inability to handle what is being shown to you?
Christian wisdom informs us to "die daily." But that is not a death of the physical body, but a death of the soul.
I am the living man who has no life within him. I am the dead man whose hand reaches, and twitches violently waiting to be grasped.
We all breathe life into our dead lungs, we all perish to the world around us hourly. Our hands reach and are closed involuntarily, empty.
Life is about being reborn, with every choice and mistake we make we seal our own deaths, and arrange for our rebirth.
With each wise decision we kill our own folly, and yet it is reborn when the pressures of wisdom and knowledge are presented to us. When we can no longer handle the truth of life and existence.
With every mistake we murder our ignorance, as we reveal what our mind had hidden behind the curtain of childhood. But upon staring with mouths open we simultaneously close both curtain and mouth.
We bring our ignorance back, wrap ourselves within the warmth of misunderstanding.
But as we do this, when our innocence is reborn and our ignorance resurrected, we remember why we first committed the bloody deed.
We see our violence and acknowledge it's need. Then our innocence steps aside, our ignorance subsides, but it is neither violent nor sudden, it is peaceful, and our understanding is complete.
We become enlightened.
Life, death, rebirth, resurrection. We experience them everyday, we hold these moments close to our heart, so close we cannot see them. We focus on the death's of others, the success of other's life's, to the point that we fail to understand our own deaths, our own life.
Today marks the death of a world, tomorrow heralds the resurrection of a galaxy.
How did you die today? Was your resurrection sweet and full of joy?
Did you spend your life preparing for your own demise? Did your rebirth go according to plan?
Never fear, there's always another chance to die tomorrow. Always a rebirth near in your future.
Always a resurrection right around the corner.
Manifesto: For One
We live in a world where 'social butterflies' flit from one stage of life to the next.
Networking in the goal, more so than any form of intrinsic accomplishments.
Where once the rugged loner stood strong amongst the failures of society, now he hides behind the counter at the local five-and-dime, leering at the customers. He stalks and obsesses. He sits at his desk in his one room studio with only the glare of his computer screen for light. The sweat rolled down the mountain of his cheeks, leaping from the cliff-edge of his jaw.
I used primarily male images in the previous paragraph because that is the message that is seen on-screen and in pop culture.
The image of the lone witch or wise-woman was once respectful, empowering and inspiring, now a female alone is unheard of because it is not safe for her. I aim to reclaim that visage: for men, womyn, and everyone else. I want to renew the loner as a source of strength and wisdom. As the old man atop the mountain who dispenses wisdom to those who reach the top, the hermit in the cave who communes with nature and the gods, or the writer, who works for years in solitude to create a work of art that touches the lives of millions. Never lonely, but always alone.
The world we live in was built upon the shoulders of those who walk alone. Our greatest minds - scientists, artists, musicians, authors, poets, adventurers - stood against the world and took the road less traveled. For though they abandoned society at large, and shunned company as one would a poison, it is their shining light that leads the rest of the world forward.
I yearn to add to their light. I prefer the solitude of my own mind, the love of my own heart, and the peace of my own soul.
I am a media student. I have a background in theatre, psychology, history, literature, music, dance, poetry, photography, and mythology. I spend my time reading, hiking, meditating, teaching myself how to: play guitar, build guitars, knit, sew, speak dead languages, work with leather, etc.
I do not intend to tell anyone of this blog. These words will be a testament to my soul, and to my chosen path. I will bare my soul to the emptiness of the internet, where the challenges I face and the beliefs I own will echo amongst the silence the digital canyons.
I am my own man, and this life is mine.
Networking in the goal, more so than any form of intrinsic accomplishments.
Where once the rugged loner stood strong amongst the failures of society, now he hides behind the counter at the local five-and-dime, leering at the customers. He stalks and obsesses. He sits at his desk in his one room studio with only the glare of his computer screen for light. The sweat rolled down the mountain of his cheeks, leaping from the cliff-edge of his jaw.
I used primarily male images in the previous paragraph because that is the message that is seen on-screen and in pop culture.
The image of the lone witch or wise-woman was once respectful, empowering and inspiring, now a female alone is unheard of because it is not safe for her. I aim to reclaim that visage: for men, womyn, and everyone else. I want to renew the loner as a source of strength and wisdom. As the old man atop the mountain who dispenses wisdom to those who reach the top, the hermit in the cave who communes with nature and the gods, or the writer, who works for years in solitude to create a work of art that touches the lives of millions. Never lonely, but always alone.
The world we live in was built upon the shoulders of those who walk alone. Our greatest minds - scientists, artists, musicians, authors, poets, adventurers - stood against the world and took the road less traveled. For though they abandoned society at large, and shunned company as one would a poison, it is their shining light that leads the rest of the world forward.
I yearn to add to their light. I prefer the solitude of my own mind, the love of my own heart, and the peace of my own soul.
I am a media student. I have a background in theatre, psychology, history, literature, music, dance, poetry, photography, and mythology. I spend my time reading, hiking, meditating, teaching myself how to: play guitar, build guitars, knit, sew, speak dead languages, work with leather, etc.
I do not intend to tell anyone of this blog. These words will be a testament to my soul, and to my chosen path. I will bare my soul to the emptiness of the internet, where the challenges I face and the beliefs I own will echo amongst the silence the digital canyons.
I am my own man, and this life is mine.
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